One piece at a time... 

The sound gets stuck inside my throat. I want to release it. But it stops short, just before coming out. I have to swallow it back. Remain silent. I feel a whole other person exists inside me .Who lives and breathes and moves the way their instinct demands. But the real world finds me trapped, strapped in- with a seatbelt. - So I don’t fall face forward hitting my face on mistakes. So I don’t say the wrong things aloud.

I have so much to say, but time doesn’t wait up. Life doesn’t give us those moments. Sometimes I feel I am just too busy trying to capture the moments, the word, the look, the emotion. Taking pictures, storing away memories, so that one can later prove they happened. How else do you preserve happy times? It’s the easiest way to do it. Because the good times don’t go by very slowly. Sometimes it seems better to skim the surface of the good times. To pause, flit over, and leave without creating an impression. Years go by like that. So much left undone, unspoken, unexpressed. The reason? A reluctance to attempt at something deeper, higher, steeper, complex. A lack of faith in its benefit.

So instead.one hampers one’s vision with so many pollutant distractions. Be they substandard works of literature (I use the term loosely. Trashy books are included) immaterial arguments or little pockets of negativity and despondency that weigh us down and sap our energy more frequently and with increasing intensity. It clouds the vision and we are so ready to fall prey to it.

I have been waiting to create Great Art all my life- ALL my life. Maybe there is still time. Maybe Age really has brought Wisdom.

All my life I’ve also been waiting for someone to inspire me and guide me. The Guru, the Sage, the trainer who believes in me and visualizes greatness. How much evidence have we all seen that the vision, the inspiration lies within us? How much maturity and experience do we need to begin the creative journey? And when is the right time?

But I crave clarity of thought. Fulfilling a vision. Defining a vision. How do we do that? Do we all create from memory and past experience? So the past does define everything. One then should not be afraid of it. Exploring memories brings everything asleep or dead inside back to life

I want to wake up before it’s too late. I want to feel alive and awake more often than morose and drowsy...

The problem is, once I am awake, I feel disoriented. I’ve been asleep for so long, that there is too much left undone. It leaves one frustrated. You start to pick up all the pieces at once. They start to fall out of your hands just as quickly. Let’ me see if I can pick up One single piece, completely.. And take it from there.

There. Done.