Changing of a Name..

There it was. Decades of having an identity; my name, my father’s surname, and nestled neatly in the middle falling into a rhythm, the name my grandfather had given me, his own mother’s.

I’ve always loved my name. There’s a neat pattern to it. It’s exclusive, special. It seems just right. Consequently, I love my father for thinking of it and being the considerate enough to have a surname that fit with it. Obviously I love him for a few other reasons too; nice hands and a mischievous smile etc.

All through life it’s given me pleasure; it’s brought me luck, made my parents proud.

And now, there it is. Changed. By law. By necessity. For convenience. Two of the names have been cut out to be replaced by a foreign one. How far does it define me, I wonder? How much of me is in it? Am I just the culmination, the sum up of my first name? Maybe the rest doesn’t matter so much. They are also after all other people s names. Mine is the first one. It’s shaped my personality. Savera. It means morning. It symbolizes all my hopes and aspirations. My forthrightness, belied by a certain shyness. Gentleness with passion, goofiness with intensity, talent with a bit of silliness, spontaneity with hard work. It’s all there.

The other names however gave me a backbone. A support. Security that I belonged and if all I met in the world was disappointment and failure, I had the confidence to return and fall back on these roots and ties that bound us, the family.

Make no mistake; I am ready to link my name with my new partner in life’s adventure. It’s going to be great fun. It will have meaning. Its own solid roots. It feels more real now that we are linked by a common name. But wow! That other one and I had good times. It was a pretty exciting ride. No matter. As my name has always taught me to look for brighter sunshine around the next corner, I still have faith the best is yet to come.

I would however like to say thank you to the ones who always stood beside me , behind me, ready to catch me if I fell, which I never did since their supporting arms always steadied my clumsy stumbles. They can no longer be there. They have to move from those steadfast positions they loyally stayed at. I wonder, was I ever worth all that protection?

I heard girls get emotional when they leave their ‘family’ on their wedding day on the arm of their new champion with their ‘new’ family. For me, I would say that the moment I truly felt far away from them, on the other side of the shore, on my own, was when I looked down at that identity card and saw I had changed. I had to build my own support system now. Be the steadfast loyal protector instead of the protected.

My new roles are daunting, but I can meet any challenge. Decades of a strong name have made me rock solid.